My Geek Code (v3.1) says....

Geek: GIT

I'm a geek of information technology.

Dress: d

I dress a lot like those found in catalog ads. Bland, boring, without life or meaning.

Shape: s:(-)

I'm the height of an average geek.

    I range from ...

I'm as round as an average geek.

    ... to ...

Everyone tells me to gain a few pounds.

Age: a++

I'm between 50 and 59.

Computers: C++$>+++

Computers are a large part of my existence. When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is log myself in. I play games or mud on weekends, but still manage to stay off of academic probation.

    I'm making money at this.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

You mean there is life outside of Internet? You're shittin' me! I haven't dragged myself to class in weeks.

Unix: UL>+++>$

Linux:

I have a unix account to do my stuff in.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I don't need to crack /etc/passwd because I just modified su so that it doesn't prompt me. The admin staff doesn't even know I'm here. If you don't understand what I just said, this category does NOT apply to you.

    I'd like to be making money at this.

Perl: P>+

I know Perl exists, but that's all.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I know of perl. I like perl. I just haven't learned much perl, but it's on my agenda.

Linux: L++(+)>+++>$

    I range from ...

I use Linux ALMOST exclusively on my system. I've given up trying to achieve Linux.God status, but welcome the OS as a replacement for DOS. I only boot to DOS to play games.

    ... to ...

I've managed to get Linux installed and even used it a few times. It seems like it is just another OS.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I use Linux exclusively on my system. I monitor comp.os.linux.* and even answer questions some times.

    I'd like to be making money at this.

Emacs: !E

I don't use Emacs.

Web: W+>++>$

I have the latest version of Netscape, and wander the web only when there's something specific I'm looking for.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I have a homepage. I surf daily. My homepage is advertised in my .signature.

    I'd like to be making money at this.

Usenet: N++>+++

I read all the news in a select handful of groups.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I read so many news groups that the next batch of news comes in before I finish reading the last batch, and I have to read for about 2 hours straight before I'm caught up on the morning news. Then there's the afternoon...

Usenet Oracle: o?

What's the Usenet Oracle?

Kibo: K?

What's Kibo?

Windows: w(+)>---

    I range from ...

Ok, so I use MS Windows. I don't have to like it.

    ... to ...

I have installed my own custom sounds, wallpaper, and screen savers so my PC walks and talks like a fun house. Oh yeah, I have a hundred TrueType(tm) fonts that I've installed but never used. I never lose Minesweeper and Solitaire.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

Windows has set back the computing industry by at least 10 years. Bill Gates should be drawn, quartered, hung, shot, poisoned, disembowelled, and then REALLY hurt.

OS/2: O>+

I finally managed to get OS/2 installed but wasn't too terribly impressed.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I keep a DOS partition on my hard drive "just in case". I'm afraid to try HPFS.

Macintosh: M+>++>$

A mac has it's uses and I use it quite often.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I am a mac guru. Anything those DOS putzes and Unix nerds can do, I can do better, and if not, I'll write the damn software to do it.

    I'd like to be making money at this.

VMS: !V

I don't use VMS.

Politics-Social: PS+(++)

    I range from ...

My whole concept of liberalism is that nobody has the right to tell anybody else what to do, on either side of the political fence. If you don't like it, turn the bloody channel.

    ... to ...

I give to liberal causes. I march for gay rights. I'm a card carrying member of the ACLU. Keep abortion safe and legal.

Politics-Economic: PE@>-

    Varying wildly on this topic.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

It's ok to increase government spending, so we can help more poor people. Tax the rich! Cut the defense budget!

Cypherpunks: Y+>++

I have an interest and concern in privacy issues, but in reality I am not really all that active or vocal.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I am on the cypherpunks mailing list and active around Usenet. I never miss an opportunity to talk about the evils of Clipper and ITAR and the NSA. Orwell's 1984 is more than a story, it's a warning to ours and future generations. I'm a member of the EFF.

PGP: PGP(++)>$

    I range from ...

I've used it, but stopped long ago.

    ... to ...

I have the most recent version and use it regularly

    I'd like to be making money at this.

Trek: t+(++)

    I range from ...

It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only things good on television any more.

    ... to ...

It's the best show around. I have all the episodes and the movies on tape and can quote entire scenes verbatim. I've built a few of the model kits too. But you'll never catch me at one of those conventions. Those people are kooks.

Babylon 5: 5+>++

Babylon 5 certainly presents a fresh perspective in the Sci-Fi universe. I watch it weekly.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

Finally a show that shows what a real future would look like. None of this Picardian "Let's talk about it and be friends." crap. And what's this? We finally get to see a bathroom! Over on that Enterprise, they've been holding it for over seven years!

X-Files: !X

I don't watch X-Files.

Roleplaying: R+(++)>+++>$

    I range from ...

I've got my weekly sessions set up and a character that I know better than I know myself.

    ... to ...

There is no life outside the role of the die. I know all the piddly rules of (chosen game). _MY_ own warped rules scare the rest of the players.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I've written and published my own gaming materials.

    I'd like to be making money at this.

Television: tv--(++)

    I range from ...

I turn my tv on during natural disasters.

    ... to ...

I just leave the tv on, to make sure I don't miss anything.

Books: b++>+++

I find the time to get through at least one new book a month.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I consume a few books a week as part of a staple diet.

Dilbert: DI(++)

    I range from ...

I read Dilbert infrequently, rarely understanding it

    ... to ...

I work with people that act a lot like Dilbert and his boss.

DOOM!: D--

It's an overly-violent game and pure crap.

Geek Code: G>++>$

I know what the geek code is and even did up this code.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I know what each letter means, but sometimes have to look up the specifics.

    I'd like to be making money at this.

Education: e>++

Finished High School

    ... but I'd like to be ...

Got a bachelors degree

Housing: h+()

    I range from ...

Living alone, get out once a week to buy food, no more than once a month to do laundry. All surfaces covered.

    ... to ...

Friends come over to visit every once in a while to talk about Geek things. There is a place for them to sit.

Relationships: r--()

    I range from ...

People just aren't interested in dating me.

    ... to ...

I date periodically.

Sex[?]: z+>++

I've had real, live sex.

    ... but I'd like to be ...

I was once referred to as 'easy'. I have no idea where that might have come from though.